Sickness Can Die

Our household is in the process of being run over by the steamroller that is sickness. All shapes and forms of it. And it’s nasty, frustrating and overwhelming.

If you know me, you know I love to spoil and dote on the people (and animals!) that I love. And I especially love playing sick maid. I can’t tell you why, but it makes me happy knowing that I’m able to make soup, bring a cold compress, give a back rub and ease away aches and whatever else to make sickness less of a motherf#@&er. If you’re healthy, I don’t give a damn about you. But if you’re sick, I’m there for you night and day.

Yet, there’s something that I’m realizing as the months roll by and I wade deeper into motherhood. Especially since 2013 started. I really… really do not like taking care of my sick kids. Like, at all. I dread it like I dread rush hour traffic.

First, there was Bear. She spiked with a nasty fever out of the blue and began vomiting. And believe it or not, I have little to no experience with vomiting so far. I don’t know how or why the vom-gods decided to bless me with their absence, but I definitely haven’t been complaining. We just haven’t really dealt with a flu. (stay tuned with next week’s inevitable *foot in mouth – vomit now everywhere* blog post…) Thankfully the puking only lasted half of a day and that stopped, but her fever remained for the whole day. She slept it off… when she wasn’t screaming from discomfort. I wanted to feel bad for her. And I did for the first few hours. But there comes a point when shrill screams and vomit overpower the desire to nurture and a mom just wants to get the F away.

Peanut got a fever, too. But that little angel of a child just slept it off and didn’t complain once. Or puke. At least, she didn’t puke for her first fever. The second fever she got a little over a week later resulted in a total projectile vomit all over the kitchen table in the middle of dinnertime. Mashed potatoes and corn. Everywhere. Husband quickly turned the other two around so they didn’t puke too, and I was left to clean up the… stuff. (Why do I always get stuck with the stuff?!) I only barely made it halfway through before I had to leave the room gagging.

I really, truly hate puke. So much.

Then, over the last week Buddy and I became snot-monsters together. It. Was. Awful. Our colds rampaged our systems and tissues ravaged our noses until we looked like Rudolph. We walked around the house with glistening or goopy noses from lotion, carmex and whatever else was nearest after a good nose-blowing session. I had to sleep in the recliner in the living room one night because my nose ran so bad that if I rolled over in bed, it would pour snot all down my cheek and into my hair and on my pillow case. I know. GOOD GOD. At least in the recliner I could stay on my back and keep everything in my nose until I wanted to get it out myself.

I know. I’m taking sexy to a whole new level, baby.

And Buddy… oh, Buddy… I’m discovering that he is extremely, extremely, extremely clingy when he’s sick. Buddy took “shadow” to a whole new level. Like, to the point that I was accidentally smashing my knee into his body and knocking him over whenever I turned around because he’s literally inches behind me every waking moment.

He also took whining to a level that I had yet to experience. That level where you seriously have to bite your tongue to hold in your feral scream because your child is whining that whine in that pitch all. day. long. He followed me around the house for days saying, “Mama I want you to snuggle with me.” or “Mama I wanna take a nap in the bean bag chair.” or “Mama I want you.” or “Mama I want you to pick me up.” I know, that doesn’t sound that bad. In fact, it sounds pretty dang sweet. But then add that whiny voice, and extend all vowels and put those requests on repeat for hours on end. Suddenly they turn into, “Maaaamaaaaaaaaaaaa IIIIIII waaaaaaaaaant youuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!” “Maaaaamaaaaaaaaa Hoooooold meeeeeeeeee!!!” “WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!”

I’m also realizing that, in my case, when my toddler is sick, even when I do everything they request exactly to the T, they’re still not happy with it. And when they’re sick and virtually unplease-able – just go ahead and throw a screaming fit in there with the ear-piercing whine.

All of that lovely sickness from the kids and add in the fact that I, myself was sick, and… well… you get the idea. It hasn’t been a pleasant beginning to 2013 for us. These are the times that, as much as I love being a stay at home mom, I wish I was vacationing far, far away.

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