oh. my. god.

If you have a sensitive stomach, I don’t suggest reading this post.

I have a funny/disgusting side story from today.  Sooo Remmy randomly threw up on the kitchen floor a few hours ago in front of Buddy.  Buddy, thank god, didn’t try to run through it, or start slapping it or try squashing it like he usually does with mystery liquids on the ground.  (gagging yet?)  I didn’t notice it until Buddy started whining for my attention.  I turned around and see he’s stranded on the far side of the enormous pile of vomit against the door.  *Oh god!  Uhhhhhhggg Remmy!*  I tell Buddy to stay right. there. and don’t. move. then pull the dog, now attempting to eat his own vomit, into the living room.

I come back to find no Buddy, and little foot tracks through the vomit and footprints across the kitchen up to the sink.  *AAAAGH!!!*  I run over to Buddy, hopping over the vomit tracks, and tell him to sit down so I can take his socks off.   This is where I start gagging.  I finally get his socks off and throw them in the sink to attack later.

I turn my attention to the vomit pile at the back door.  It’s now being eaten by the dog.  “NO!  REMMY NO!! OH GOD!”  *Gaaaag*  “Get AWAY from that!”  *GAAAAAAG!*

Buddy begins laughing at my gagging, thinking I’m putting on a loud noises show.

I rip the entire paper towel roll off of the holder and grab the garbage bag and head into ground zero.  The dog is slinking away, licking his chops like he just got some kind of delicious snack.  *disgusting.  Foul.  Awful…*  I get on my hands and knees and rip off an arm’s length of paper towels.  The smell hits me like  bomb.   *gaaaag… GAAAAG!*

Buddy is practically falling to the ground laughing at my gagging.

I take a deep breath, close my eyes, and start blindly attacking the massive pile of stink.  I throw the first handful of towels in the garbage and hear a sickening *slop* as it hits the bottom.  *GAAAAAG!*  Buddy is gasping for air he’s laughing so hard.  Then, god rest his evil little soul, starts imitating my gagging with loud gagging of his own!

That throws me into gagging overdrive.  My eyes are watering.  I’m just attacking everything I can as quick as I can in between my gags and Buddy’s.

Finally, what feels like an eternity later, I’m done.  My stomach hurts from all the gagging, and Buddy is happily strutting around the house yelling little “EEhhh!” gags whenever his little heart desires.

I mopped the floor everywhere he wandered with his pukey socks, and attacked the back door.  I grabbed his socks with what little clean fabric I could get my hands on and I sprayed them with the hose attachment on the sink.

Next time, I think I’ll just let the dog eat it…

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9 thoughts on “oh. my. god.

  1. LOL…oh my gosh….That really got me laughing. Sorry u had to go thru that tho…i would have let the dog eat it..haha

    • Yeah, ever since my first bout of morning sickness with Buddy, I have a terrible gag reflex too! I can’t brush too far back on my tongue without gagging really loud now. I love that your kids laugh at you about it hahaha.

  2. OMG, seriously I was laughing sooooo hard, starting specifically here: “Buddy is gasping for air he’s laughing so hard.” OMG, I could totally picture it. Thank God it made me laugh and not gag, because I was eating too!

    • Haha, well I DID warn you before not to read it if you have a sensitive stomach! Budy still goes on a gagging rampage now and again since then. I laugh to myself every time he does because I remember how much it made me gag!

  3. BWAAHAHAHAAAA!!!! I was laughing and gagging through this whole post. The thought of the heat of the puke and the sound of the wet paper towel is what really got me to gag though. Come to think of it, you could apply that entire story to a few experiences here at the house. . . just switch you to me and Buddy to Joe. Oh, and make it Dex puking and Norm eating it. *sigh*

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