My ‘all’ family

I love the fact that when I refer to my family, I say I have my husband and ‘all’ three of my kids.  Not just my son or my daughter, not just ‘both’ of my kids, but ‘all’ of my kids.  I have broken the threshold of two kids.  Once you get to 3+ you refer to your kids as ‘all’ of them.  I could have ‘all three’, ‘all five’ or ‘all eight’.  I feel like I’ve joined the millionaire club!  Once you’ve hit that point, you’re part of the group.

When I think about being an “all Mom” I feel so validated and proud.  Validated that I was able to fulfill my wishes of having at least three kids, and proud that I actually managed to deliver and raise three babies (so far at least)!  Yet… I know I’m just not ready to officially say ‘no more’.  When I see their faces, their smiles, their hair and their personalities they’re all so different.  Each one is such an individual.  Watching them all grow up, even the girls at 5 months old, is already making me nostalgic for the days of caring for a newborn.  I can’t help but think about what another child of ours will look and act like.  What he or she will grow up to be and what their name will be.  It reminds me of Bertie Bott’s Every flavor Jelly Bean from Harry Potter.  There are so many possibilities you can’t help but be curious!

I know, I know.  You think I’m crazy to want more kids already. To be honest, I’m not going to even consider more kids for awhile.  Not unless there’s another accident on the horizon.  (I swear we were careful… the second time…)  I feel like I don’t want to just barely be able to refer to my kids as an ‘all’ family.  I want to be able to really dive in and have no question about the awesome all-ness that is my family!  I say five kids, but secretly would be delighted with eight.  Husband says four…  He’s satisfied with the millionaire club, I’m secretly hoping for the billionaire club!

We’ll see what the future holds.  All I know for sure is that I’m not positive about anything.  I could never say “that’s it, I’m done.  No more kids.”  I will say though that I’ll know when we’ve reached our limit to be able to comfortably support a family.  I don’t want to be unfair to my family and stretch myself too thin.  If I’m not able to divide my time and affection (and money!) between them all equally it’s not fair to me or them OR my husband.  He needs my attention and affection just as much as they do.  Plus, who knows, I may be plenty distracted with my three little angels that I will eventually not even think about the possibility of baby #4 and on.  Only time will tell I suppose. 🙂

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