In the last year and a half I’ve relived some of the most amazing things through Buddy, Peanut and Bear. I didn’t realize what a gift I was given at first. All I could think about was the massive amount of diapers and never-ending middle-of-the-night feedings. The first time Buddy smiled at me though, it felt like that was the first ray of sunshine that I had ever seen and I was practically bathing in it. I couldn’t believe how absolutely beautiful his itty bitty little smile was, and I did anything… ANYthing to get him to smile again. I was becoming addicted to it. Then, though, he laughed. Again, it felt like it was the first time I had ever heard laughter and I showered myself in smiles and laughter anytime I could.
I started to realize that I was beginning to appreciate all the little things like I never had before because of my son. Things that you just forget about, or take advantage of. Things that you just don’t stop to truly look at, or things that you stopped being curious about. I used to watch ants going in and out of anthills for hours (literally hours). I used to study the back of leaves and try to count what seemed like an endless amount of veins. I used to look at my hands and wonder how they actually move. I used to wonder how such a tiny little ball in the sky (the sun) could make everyone so hot sometimes.
I just love watching Buddy grow and develop and expand his sense of wonder and curiosity. When Peanut and Bear were born, I was afraid I wouldn’t appreciate their little smiles and laughs like I did with Buddy. I was so wrong. Bear smiles like no baby I’ve ever known. She is constantly giving me a huge smile with a squeal. She is always just so happy. I can’t help but start to feel happy with her. Peanut is always so curious and analytical. She’s always got a serious face and studies things so closely. Touching it, eating it, looking at it. She’s just so intense. I am constantly smiling watching all three of my beautiful kids explore their world and discover things for the first time that I forgot how to appreciate.
It has gotten me to start pointing things out to Buddy as we go on walks. “That tree has red leaves instead of green.” “that’s a big puffy cloud in the sky.” “these ants are carrying food to their home in the ground.” He is constantly pointing to things and looking at me questioningly or saying “ahhhh?” as if he’s saying “what’s that” or “how does it do that?” I see him turning wheels on things with new interest. It used to be because he thought it was fun to watch it go around, but now he’s curious how it goes around. He literally gets on his hands and knees and gets his nose right into his object of curiosity. He pulls a petal off of a flower and studies them both fervently and tries to figure out if they’re supposed to be together or not, and whether or not he can put it back on. (Which usually results in a major meltdown when he can’t figure it out… that’s the only downside.)
because of him, I’m thoroughly enjoying things like sprinklers, walks and fireworks again too. It’s not that I didn’t enjoy them anymore, but I just kind of zoned out during them. But watching Buddy squeal in delight as the cold sprinkler sprays him with water makes me want to dive in head first too. Watching him gasp in wonder at the giant fireworks make me want to cheer right along with him!
He’s finally getting rid of his shyness of speaking and starting to experiment with words too. He used to sign everything he wanted, and wouldn’t even attempt words because he was too shy to say them wrong. At first, he would try once or twice, and if it didn’t sound right he’d get mad and go back to signing. Now though he babbles with the best of them trying to sound out new words. He wants so badly to learn new things. Lately I have been teaching im what a lot of specific things are called. Things like ball, rain, banana, blanket, Remmy, stairs, baby and so on. He attempts them all. Banana is “bah-daa-bah”, ball is “baaah”, Remmy is “Memmy”, baby is “bee-bee”, rain is “ayn”, shoe is “ssssAH”.
I have gotten out the colors, shapes, letters and numbers books to start reading them to him. Now when I read them to him, he tries to copy the words. Red is “beeeead”, yellow is “beedee”, green is “eeeeeeen”, blue is “bweeee”, orange is “beewee”, and purple is “beebee”. He sits so still and concentrates so hard on his pronunciation that I can’t help but smile and give him a big hug. My little man is getting so big!
The girls are so exciting for me too. Bear is constantly rolling every which way now and always so squealy and excited to see anyone approaching her to play with her. Peanut pants and groans and grunts and throws her arms around at the speed of light when she gets excited too it’s so cute. They both finally started to regularly reach for toys and grasp for toys. I feel like I’m just as excited for them as I was for Buddy when he started doing this. In a way I’m more excited for the girls, because somewhere in the back of my head I’m realizing that they’re going to be toddlers one day like their big brother. I think I was so wrapped up in the moment with Buddy I didn’t even consider him getting older. Now though with the girls, I notice their faces looking older, I notice their coos getting more complex and I notice their sense of curiosity growing every single day.
I can’t wait to hear them making their own attempts to say chair, cloud, purple and baby one day. But for now I’m going to appreciate every second of their beautiful curiosity, and my own new love of the world around me again. I can’t wait to see what we discover tomorrow!
[side note: this title made me immediately start humming the Aladdin song. “a whole new wooooorld. a wondrous place i never kneeeeew. and when were WAY up heeeere, it’s crystal cleeeear……” I. loved. this. song. *sigh* yet another thing I have forgotten to appreciate.]